Minding gaps

To the boss when a favour is asked i can't seem to say no. This isn't really to do with my inability to stand up for my rights... (even though recently it has become an chronic inability) Its more to do with the fact that he is one of these people that asks favours from a distance, a favour-assasin if you will. I will be sitting in the store canteen and his head will peep round the door "Hey buddy don't mind covering the other store friday do ya... awesome.... pick the keys up from kat.... see you on the weekend!" before he's finished the question he's already in his car reversing homeward into traffic.

And so its friday and i find myself on a cramped commuter train coming back from a stressful day covering the london store. Now its not that i dislike trains, i actually quite enjoy taking time out and reading the Metro, sometimes i write messages of revolution or fervent nationalism inside the front page and wait for someone to pick it up, read it and look around for the culprit... in reality they probably don't care. Really i just like being able to sit for an hour and not think... this wasn't to be that hour.

When i closed the shop and got to the station i was feeling tired, i'd had a shit day arguing with cunts and pricks and all manner of arseholes, it was raining, i was pissed off and visibly red. As i shared some cover with other damp commuters there came a collective mournful sigh as our train pulled up with only 3 coaches in service. Rows and rows of desperately cramped passengers lined the windows their faces begging for death. As the doors opened some of them spilled out onto the platform. Now yes i am British thus commuter etiquette should oblige me to at least wait for those leaving the train to do so without shoving past, however i bypassed this rule by pretending to help those that had fell from the carriage! As i feigned an outstretched hand to one of the fallen i took my opportunity and gripped the door rail instead! pulling myself into the vestibule and seizing a position pressed against a bin. "Fuck you all.." i muttered triumphantly to myself as i watched the poor fallen wretches outside the doors clawing to get back to their positions. I didn't care, i had secured my spot and there was no way in hell i was going to give it up as easily as those fools had! i felt myself anchoring my legs and arms to the guardrail.

Five minutes into the journey and i was strengthening my borders, pushing my Metro into the territories of other commuters and increasing domain by stretching my legs out whilst keeping a firm grip on the guardrail. The only sign of rebellion came from an eldery lady clinging to her suitcase handle attempting a slow shuffle into the door recess space i'd previously conquered, this old lady was a trojan horse! she looked at me pleadingly, NO YOU DON'T WENCH! I bellowed in my head and stopped her in her tracks with a look of furious venom, at the next stop i discreetly pushed her out the train door. Victory! The vestibule was mine.


Jumping onto the platform of Brighton i felt exhilerated, i had fought back the hordes of each successive station and held my ground with dogged ferocity, i turned around to face the masses "Fuck you Mortals!" i cried out too loudly turned on my heel and ran away into the night.

The next day the boss was pissed off, apparently head office had received a complaint from some old woman who had alleged that she had been assaulted by one of the company's employees turns out i was still wearing my name badge.